Written by Lyndon
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Topics: Cars, Metric

Sunday, 21 August 2011

image for Teen changes speedometer to kilometers to impress buddies, girlfriend
Tipfer focusing on the smaller, less important kilometers

HARFOLD, Vermont--Desperate to shed his reputation as a defensive driver, 17-year-old Arnold Tipfer changed his speedometer on his Honda Civic from miles to kilometers per hour in attempt to make it appear he was driving faster than he really was.

Unfortunately for him, no one except for his 9-year-old sister was fooled.

Buddy Charles Runder: "He drove me around last Friday and was hootin' and hollerin' the whole time, 'I'm doing 55 through town, motherf-----!' But what he was doin' was 35, just like he was supposed to, the frickin' loser."

Tipfer's girlfriend, or as a Harfold student's blog reported, Tipfer's EX-girlfriend has had enough: "Frickin' loser, I swear to God. We were riding on I-95 on the way to Dairy Queen cuz I let him buy me sundaes, and he's like losin' it, screaming, 'Eighty--we're breakin' 80!' Yeah, more like we're barely going 50. Cars were passing us like we was standing still."

Alexa Tipfer, however, was beside herself with glee, but at the same time felt the need to tell on her brother. "We were doin' 50 in the cemetery! I was laughing my butt off! But I tried to get him good when we got home when I told mom on him. Even though she didn't really seem to care."

Tipfer has no plans on changing the speedometer back to mph, more or less out of spite.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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