Congresswoman Michele Bachmann called a news conference this morning. The subject had not been announced. Ms. Bachmann took the podium and began: "First of all, I NEVER said that Governor Rick Perry was Beelzebub!"
The assembled journalists looked at each other with surprised looks as no one in attendance had ever heard that she had made that kind of statement.
Bachmann smiled, and continued: "If Governor Perry says he is not Beelzebub, I take his word for it. On the other hand, I don't know all of the particulars, you know where he was born and the circumstances involved. All I can say is that people should do their own due diligence and decide for themselves. This is all I will have to say on the subject. Any questions?"
Journalist: "Ms. Bachmann, where did you first hear of this matter? You never have spoken about it prior to this time? This comes as quite a surprise."
Bachmann: "I think I first heard of the matter in a talk I had with God prior to my announcement for president."
Journalist: "Really!? What did God say about Perry?"
Bachmann: "Well, you know, it was just in the course of the conversation and God asked me if I had heard about Perry. I said, no. He said, 'well, it's just gossip, you know, but I heard the chatter when folks starting asking me, have you heard about Rosemary Perry and her new baby?' He said he might also have heard of it from Moveon.org but didn't read that kind of trash too often."
In related news, Governor Rick Perry has called a press briefing for later in the day after a visit to the barbershop for a haircut and an eye brow trim. Perry said to a reporter as he left his office "I can tell you this; this campaign is just starting to heat up!"