Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for USS CLUSTER F..K : Navy Honors Obama By Naming Garbage Scow For Him
American Battleship

One of the honors of being a famous politician or celebrity is having your name painted on the hull of a newly commissioned United States warship. Most of the time it is done posthumously. Only a few men, like Senator McCain, who had the Guided Missile Cruiser, USS John S McCain DDG 56 named after him, and the elder Bush, who upon the eventual commissioning of the nuclear aircraft carrier, the USS George H. W. Bush CVN 77, will actually see the ship before they die. The bigger the ship, the higher the honor.

Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan all had nuclear carriers named after them. Presently there is a cargo ship, the USS Bob Hope, sailing the seas with the Stars and Stripes flying from its stern. Generating considerable controversy is the proposed naming of another cargo ship, the USS Cesar Chavez, for the eponymously named labor leader who died in 1993. Chavez spent his life organizing the men and women who picked fruits, nuts and vegetables in California.

Historically, our battleships were named after states and our heavy cruisers were named after American cities. Myself, I served on the guided missile cruiser, the USS Chicago, during the Vietnam war. Unknown to most, Chicago was once a proud and vibrant city before Obama sucked the life out of it. We were proud to go to war on this beautiful warship. Everyone knows that the USS Arizona sits below the surface of Pearl Harbor as a memorial to those who lost their lives that fateful day that brought about WWII.

It is therefore appropriate, that the man who lays the blame on our Nation's inability to regain its political status and correct its monetary woes on everyone but himself, that the Navy commission its new garbage scow, the USS CLUSTER F..K, after our dysfunctional president.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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