WASHINGTON, D.C. - Political pundits are all in accord in one presidential area and that is that President Obama's hair seems to be getting grayer by the month.
And if the controversies that he has faced in July are any indication of what is to come then Michelle Obama's husband's hair could be looking like Anderson Cooper's pretty soon except not as straight, manageable, or full.
An unnamed source inside of the White House has noted that the president is even starting to lose some of his hair as evidenced by the little bitty curly hairs that are appearing on his White House bedroom pillow.
Granola Dallydoo with The D.C. Dispatch Diplomat Newspaper asked White House maid Novela Lagartos if she was aware of any conversations between the president and his wife in regards to either his hair turning gray, becoming thinner, or perhaps both.
Mrs. Lagartos got a look of concern on her face as she replied, "Ah dee Meester President and dee Meesees President hab boff told tu me not to say ennyteeng about his cabello hair. I shust dust, sweep, mop, and baqume dee whole casa blanca White House, thank ju too many, I go now tu shange dee cheets on Maleeta's (Malia's) and Sacheeta's (Sasha's) beds."
Miss Dallydoo was able to get to speak with the president. She asked him about his hair and right away he put his hand up in her face and asked, "Now Miss Dillydally is it?"
"No sir, my last name is Dallydoo, like the famous boxer Bancroft "The Bopper" Dallydoo."
"Okay Diddlydoo it is." The president said sternly. "Now I want ju ta lissen up here and pay sum close as hell attenshun ta what I is about ta sez ta ya."
"I woncha ta know dat no one, but no one, not even my sweet, adorable, fine lady of a woman, mama-in-law, Mrs. Marian Shields Robinson is allowed ta axe me a question about my hair. Now having said dat. You can axe me one more question before I axe ya ta leave my White House."
"Can I see your birth certificate Mr. President sir?
"Dat's it Miss Diddlydildo get da hell outta here before I have yo cracker ass arrested fa trespassing."
In other news. Reports are that Charlie Sheen put an ad in the Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle asking for two new goddesses. The ad says that all applicants must have IQ's in the low to mid 60s and be able to swoon all over him at a moment's notice.