The secret service in Washington forced a man to lie on the ground and to move away from his backpack after he had jumped the white house fence onto the lawn. CNN was there live to catch the excitement on film, but later learned that the man has done this before and that he is no stranger to the White House.
As CNN listened to the conversation with their ultra high power microphone attached to cameras that can see a flea on a cat 50 miles away, they quickly sighed and shook their heads after learning that the suspect was none other than the presidents long lost 1/8th brother from Ireland.
We have since learned that the suspects name is 'James', which is an alias and was created by a well known writer of the Supernatural from Main. The secret service can be heard asking James, "Why do you insist on creating a scene by making us run out to chase you and cause panic in America? Don't you know that your brother has insisted you stop wasting taxpayers' money by jumping the fence?" They told him.
To make matters worse, James also placed steak, cheese and peanut butter into the backpack to cause the security dogs to sniff the bag and alert the authorities to the possibility of a threat. This caused a lock down of the area as a safety measure. Ultimately, the dogs destroyed the bag in a game of tug while attempting to get the food. The dog whisperer, Cesar Millan, was called in to walk the dogs to remove their aggressive behavior.
"James, we have to tell the public that you're homeless. If people find out their president has an Irish brother, they are going to want to see your birth certificate and it's too hard to get one that looks real in such a short time." The agent whispered to James as he led him off the grounds.
Soon after he was placed in handcuffs the secret service escorted him into the White house where his cuffs were removed and he was taken to the Oval Office to join his brother, who was playing a game of scrabble with his children. The associated press has learned that as he entered the room, his nieces gave him the high five and squealed with delight at the excitement of seeing their prank played out on national television.
The President, who is a closet vegetarian and PETA member, was annoyed because of his brother's lack of sense in not cooking the steak for the dogs. "James!" he yelled, "how many times must I have to tell you not feed the dog's raw meat?" he was hard yelling.
Just then, Mrs. Obama walked in with a tray of cookies and milk and scolded her brother in law for his antics, but quickly joked about how funny it was to see him crawl on the grass on national television.
The secret service has placed a look alike dummy in jail for the paparazzi to photograph. As for Jimmy, the president has commanded that he be taken back to Ireland and be forced to search for a leprechaun every day until he finds one and takes the pot of Gold back to America to solve the debt crisis.
No more is known of James, but it is rumored that he will be chosen as the running mate for President Obama in the election of 2012.