WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just announced that the plans for President Barack Obama's White House Birthday Party have been finalized.
Colfax said that the party will be held on Thursday, August 4, in the backyard at The White House. He noted that the guest of honor will be Oprah Winfrey, who was the very first name that "First Mama" Michelle Obama wrote on the guest list.
Also invited to the half century presidential shindig are Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Demi Lovato, Manu Ginobili, Ashton Kutcher and his cougar wife Demi Moore, 48.
Kutcher is very excited about joining the cast of Two and A Half Men. But not one-tenth as excited as Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones and the rest of the cast.
The show had virtually been cancelled after its star Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen gave up his unbelievable weekly salary of $1.8 million to go on the Internet and rant and rave like a raging lunatic who had lost the few brain cells he had left.
The still gorgeous model Heidi Klum, who is married to the lucky, lucky, guy named Seal will be at the party along with comedian Will "Good Old Boy" Ferrell, and Steven "Mr. Midas Touch" Spielberg.
And one Hollywood celebrity who both the president and his wife Michelle, aka the "First Mama" especially requested to attend is Wayne Wilderson.
Although Wayne Wilderson's name is not a household name everyone has seen him. He is the actor who appears as the grapes in the Fruit of The Loom underwear commercials.
The president in keeping with bringing people of different faiths, beliefs, opinions, and genders together has booked as the musical entertainers for the birthday bash festivities Taylor Swift and Kanye West.
The two made television entertainment news two years ago at The 2009 MTV Video Music Awards Show when Kanye rushed the stage and took the microphone out of Taylor's hand and then proceeded to sing the praises of Beyonce, who was embarrassed all to hell.
Swift and Taylor have not spoken since the incident. And in fact Taylor still refers to West as Kanye West The "Pest."
She has personally been asked by President Obama if she can please find it in her little ol' country music heart to refrain from calling Kanye by that derogatory name at least during the duration of the birthday party.
White House Press Secretary Colfax stated that originally the music for the president's 50th birthday party was to have been provided by the president and Michelle's favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz, but the band is currently in the middle of their 59-city Scandinavian Concert Tour.
Michelle Obama has asked that the guests in lieu of gifts please simply give the president cash which he will put into Malia and Sasha's Dental Braces Fund.