A day before Obama was set to celebrate his birthday in Chicago with yet another party, staffers at the posh Aragon Ballroom let the cat out of the bag concerning plans for the highlight of the show involving Chicago Diva, Billionaire, and head of her own failing TV Network, Oprah Winfrey.
Despite tabloid claims that the talk show host is a closet lesbian, insiders close to the icon says she's always had a 'crush' on the president, a fact not lost on Michelle who has compared the hefty host to 'someone who has obviously not been eating her peas!"
According to the staffers, pastry chefs at the Aragon are working feverishly on the 6 layer double chocolate cake with the removable Dutch Fudge top to house the zoftig Oprah who plans to be wheeled out on a trailer pulled by a Chevy Volt just as the house band breaks into "Heil to the Chief" in front of a packed house of well heeled liberal supporters.
Said an aide to Oprah, "she really, really, needs to get back in the public eye, and she also wants to get close to Obama even though Michelle has done everything possible to keep them apart. Barry needs her for 2012, and Oprah needs him and Al Gore to get some ratings for her network. "
Current plans are for Oprah to pop out NUDE covered only in a light dusting of white powdered sugar to a rousing rendition of "Jelly Roll Blues" before leading the audience in a melody of songs including " I ain't got No Body," "Black and Blue over You", 'Boogie Woogie Bamaman," " Moon over El Ali Bama" and "Tummy Tuck Woman" before the rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday Mr. Pres-i-Dent" made famous by Marilyn Monroe just before she was assasinated by Rogue IRA Irish-American-Politicians still unknown.
In keeping with ongoing Administration Policy of "Transparency", there will be no movie or still cameras permitted, and no pool reporters invited to the gig. There will, however, be a live feed provided for private screenings to the extended Obama family in Kenya, Indonesia, Hawaii, Somalia, and the UAW Union Hall in downtown Detroit.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are said to be set to kick off a night of wild dancing opening their set with the Presidents Request of "Shake Your Booty."
Members of the President's "Pants Suit Posse" are said to be about to 'jump over the couch' with the news there will be plenty of line dancing led by Debbie Wasserman Schultz (DWS) who in order to 'haul her ass out on the floor' will have to come back and make two (2) trips.
Secret Service Agents denied that uninvited guest Anthony Weiner was seen wanking in the wings during rehearshals, but couldn't promise that Michaele and Tareq Salahi hadn't managed to wrangle an invitation from Valerie Jarrett for the celebration.