With the fifth anniversary of Leeroy Jenkins' Internet debut coming up Aug. 6, my crack investigative team dug in deep to find Jenkins' true identity, and the results are shocking.
More than 26 million people have watched Leeroy Jenkins' character go wildly into battle on YouTube in a video captured from a popular massively multiplayer online game, and draw his crew into an unwinnable fight. Thus was born the infamous line among the gaming community, "Leeeeeroooyyy uh-Jenkins."
While the net does tout a young man as being the real Leeroy Jenkins, my investigation has uncovered a darker, scarier truth.
The real Leeroy Jenkins character was actually President George W. Bush.
In 2006, the United States was five years into its conficts with Iraq and Afghanistan, at the behest of President Bush. The invasion of Iraq by the US was a move that was disapproved of by the United Nations and the majority of US citizens.
His play online as Leeroy Jenkins was a reflection of his ill-guided battle savvy.
IP address research revealed Bush played the recorded session of the game while vacationing at his Texas ranch.
"It all seems so obvious now," Bill Spaulding, gaming expert, said. "Leeroy's cavalier attitude, and complete disregard for his team, is exactly what Bush did in real life."
Bush would not comment when contacted about the revelation.
"I don't know anyone named Elroy Pickens," he said. "Now don't call me again."
The reaction to Bush's online behavior as Jenkins, was much like the reaction to his announcement that the United States was going to invade Iraq. People protested, cussed, screamed and called him stupid at every turn.
Jenkins' insistence the quagmire was not his fault in the video clip, is also reminiscent of Bush's claims as he left office in 2008.
Bush is the first President ever known to participate in MMO games.
It is yet another distinction to go along with his other presidential firsts.
He was also the first president to ignore the Constitution and take the nation to war, the first president with a collection of cereal box prizes, and the first president to collect a complete set of Pokemon cards.
There are no official plans in Washington to commemorate the release of Leeroy Jenkins' classic Internet clip, despite it being proven to be former President Bush.