Written by Kahfree
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Monday, 1 August 2011

image for United pilot faked unfamiliar odor to get Cuban cigars
Faked odor on United

United airlines may have found a loophole in their flight policy to and from Cuba, and faking the smell of an "unfamiliar odor" gave the airline the two thumbs up to land in Cuba.

Although United does not normally fly into Cuba, the pilot on board was forced to make a landing when some very influential passengers wanted to smoke a stogie from what is arguably considered the best in the world, the Cuban Cigar. The only problem is it is illegal for US Citizens to buy any cigars from this communist country because of the America's trade embargo on Cigars enacted by our late President, John F. Kennedy in 1962.

Among those passengers who were tossing popcorn balls at the cabin door of the pilot in an attempt to divert the plane were Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Governor of California, Bruce Willis, an actor with a 6th sense and Whoopi Goldberg, an actress who is not afraid to light up with the boys.

The three are costars in a new movie directed by Steven Spielberg entitled "Sikar" which means "Smoking" in Mayan language. It will be filmed entirely in Cancun, Mexico yet has nothing to do with the actual use of cigars. However, the conversation began to take a sinister turn as the three connoisseur's of cigars began to crave their little smoking stick. Soon, a plot to take over the aircraft developed and according to passengers who overheard their childish idea told the syndicated press the following.

"As we were approaching Cuba on our way to Cancun, Mexico, these three stooges in the first class section of the plane became angry when they began craving a taste of the forbidden fruit. We could hear them talking and they looked especially suspicious as they pulled from their pockets what looked like tiny butter soaked bombs." Said Bobby Arrow; an owner of the largest ant farm in the country.

"We had no idea what they were holding" said Bobby's personal secretary and ant hoarder, but we knew it was not good. "I began to shake and at one point, cried, but the flight attendant told me if I cried I was going to be thrown off the plane. I was afraid for my ant babies so I complied" she said as she clutched her mix of red, black and carpenter ants close to her heart.

Asked what happened next, the pair described how the three began throwing those little buttery bombs at the cabin door, which actually were pop corn balls, a delicacy in first class. "I was so hungry, and yet they wasted those precious popcorn balls on tormenting the pilot!" screamed out Sarah Thursday, a pregnant boxing instructor from Macon, GA.

"When the door flung open and the pilot stepped out the three began to laugh and hug him! I guess they knew him." said Pippy Longstocking, who was en route to Kurrekurredutt Isle, in search of her father. "The woman, who I believe was the gang's ringleader, told the pilot to land in Cuba so they can enjoy a round of stogies or else she would summon the Ghost of a certain friend of theirs to scare the other passengers." Suddenly, the plane shifted and next thing you know, we are sitting on the soil of Cuba!" cried Bobby. "I just want to go home and feed my ants!" he sobbed.

After an initial investigation by the FAA and the US Government, the name of the pilot was released as being John Travolta, who recently began working for the airlines in lieu of his former acting career. President Obama has stated that as soon as the three are back on US soil, they will be punished for their bratty behavior by making them smoke cigars made from Tobasco, not Tobacco.

"However", he said, "Is this the deal I would have preferred? No," Obama said. "I believe that we could have made the tough choices required - on the Cuban Trade Embargo-- right now, rather than through a special cigar smoking congressional debate that has caused us to spend the Medicare money of our future elderly on this decision. But this compromise does make a serious commitment to the cigar deficit we created in 1962, and gives each country a strong incentive to agree on a trade plan to be completed before the end of the year so all citizens can begin to smoke the Cigars of Cuba freely and without having to fake an unfamiliar odor complaint again." President Obama stated in a news conference.

And, Obama said "As far as we know, they never inhaled the cigars, so no crime was committed."

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