Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 1 August 2011

image for Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach
A photo of the Honduran Submarine 'El Pescado Blanco Feo.' (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras - The Honduran Navy has reportedly captured a 90-foot submarine, off the coast of neighboring El Salvador, that allegedly was destined for Malibu Beach, California.

The submarine which had personalized Arizona license plates that read "Go 'Backs" was carrying a shipment of 73.9 tons of totally refined industrial cocaine.

A spokesperson for the Honduran navy identified as Tabacabaco Monte de Monte was asked what the license plate "Go 'Backs" designated. Monte de Monte replied that he did not know but that he would ask his supervisor.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The supervisor who speaks English with an Arianna Huffington accent called up Larry King who informed him that "Go 'Backs" refers to the Major League Baseball team the Arizona Diamondbacks who are known throughout parts of Arizona as the 'Backs.]

The United States Coast Guard Cutter Roscoe F. Tattertocker, Jr., assisted the Honduran navy in capturing the submarine which they learned is listed in Janet's Book of World Submarines as having been placed in operation on May 13, 2002 as El Pescado Blanco Feo (The Ugly White Fish.)

The submarine is registered to a Mr. Hernando Fernando Bolero, 43, of El Chichicaste, Honduras. Bolero has been known as "The Undisputed Cocaine King of Central America" since the summer of 1993.

The commander of The Roscoe F. Tattertocker, Jr., Captain Vernon "Seagull" Fiffington giggled as he said that the submarine's shipment of cocaine was so heavy that the sub could only attain a top speed of 2 miles per hour.

Captain Fiffington also added that one of his men found a notebook on board the sub which listed over 700 names of Hollywood celebrities including their height, weight, gender, paper or plastic preference, and favorite Beatles song.

SIDENOTE: The entire 73.9 tons of cocaine will be turned over to the Honduran Department of Illegal Drugs who will most probably raise some much needed capital by holding a silent auction to be held at an undisclosed location somewhere in downtown Tegucigalpa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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