Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 31 July 2011

image for Non-Hurricane Don Got His Butt Kicked By The Texas Heat Wave
This is an actual-sized photo of Non-Hurricane Don. (Photo by Gov. Rick Perry).

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - People in the Lone Star state coastal town of Corpus Christi, known as The Sparkling City By The Bay did not even bother going out To Home Depot or Lowe's and purchasing plywood to board up their windows.

Lifelong Corpus Christi resident Elston "Jigsaw Puzzle" Gingerfickle, 49, told a reporter for USA DAYBREAK, "Hell I knowed dat, dat little old bag a wind weren't gonna be doing no nuttin' bad ta my town. Hell I gots me a cousin, cousin Buford Rufus Gingerfickle, who breeds cacklin' chickens up in Waxahachie and he can drink a six packa Lone Star Beer and break wind stronger dan what old Don was a churnin out."

Weathercasters and meteorologists from Galveston down to Brownsville were saying that tropical storm Don would turn into a hurricane before striking the Texas coast.

They warned that people need to realize that Don could gather enough strength overnight and possibly turn into a category 2 or 3 like the one that struck Galveston in September of 2008.

But if there's one thing that good old boys like "Jigsaw Puzzle" Gingerfickle know, besides drinking, dipping snuff, and doing the Dallas Dilly Dally is that there pretty much ain't anything that can stand up to the son-of-a-bitching Texas heat.

SOBTH as they call it down in the border town of Laredo has been known to cause full-grown adult rattlesnakes to actually move around on their rattlers to keep from getting their bellies burned all to hell.

And picnickers at all area Texas lakes can actually barbecue hot dog weenies without even putting them on the grill. All they do is just let them sit out on a piece of aluminum foil in the hot blaring sun for about 12 minutes and those little friggin weenies will be sizzling like you just boiled them on the stove.

One thing that Texas guys learn real quick is that the hotter the weather gets the shorter the gals shorts get. In fact a TV station in San Antonio recently reported that a group of college girls at Our Lady of The Barrel Riders College were actually wearing shorts that were so amazingly short that you couldn't even see them.

To read an interesting article about the sexual desires of adult female rattlesnakes go to www.adultfemalerattlesnakedesires.huh

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 1?

1 15 4 20

Go to top