Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Eric Cantor

Friday, 29 July 2011

Congressman Eric Cantor has notified the media that he is suing the New York Times for a typo that appeared in yesterday's newspaper. A spokesman for the paper stated that it was evidently just a human error and that they were investigating. "It is an easy mistake to make," said the spokesman.

Congressman Cantor called a press conference this morning to announce the lawsuit. He walked to the podium with his traditional death chamber smile and began, "This is NOT funny," he said. Cantor continued on in a tirade against the NYT and other "left wing media" but the snickers and guffaws from the assembled journalists finally forced him to exit without finishing his statement. "It as just too little and too late," said one journalist. "The genie is out of the bottle and nothing is going to get it back in!"

As friend and foe alike looked the other way when Cantor approached them in the halls of Congress today, the New York Post ran with the headline, "Cantor or Cancer? Melanoma or Melodrama?" Cantor is rumored to be filling another law suit.

Congressman John Boehner issued the following statement today through his press secretary: "We are all praying for the people of Congressman Cantor's congressional district and hope they will continue to have adequate representation in the halls of Congress."

In related news, Congressman Eric Cantor, never one to let an opportunity pass, announced today the formation of a new fund raising PAC: The American Cantor Society. A national media buy is in the planning stage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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