Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: John Boehner

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Late yesterday Speaker of the House of the United States Congress, Join Boehner was arrested at a Washington DC pawn shop trying to pawn the Great Seal of the United States! A shocked press corps watched as Boehner was fingerprinted and booked at the DC jail.

Boehner looking dishevelled and with a three day growth of beard appeared shocked and was weeping softly.

"I was just trying to get up the green fees and money for a caddy," said Boehner. "I didn't think anybody would miss it, you know, maybe somebody else could use it like China or Saudi Arabia. They like stuff like that. Besides, Cantor dared me!"

While the nations press corps waited for developments, an entourage from the White House arrived and President Obama entered the jail and twenty minutes later he emerged with his arm around the Speaker.

"Let me just say this," said the President. "John has been under a great deal of stress and didn't realize the consequence of his actions. This is not a new thing for John, but God knows he is more to be pitied than censored. He fell in with bad people who do bad things and I am sure that he will be his old self again after rehab. Unfortunately, the damage of his actions cannot be minimized.

"China has redeemed the Great Seal out of pawn and it can be found listed as #3 Special on EBay. Unfortunately your government cannot afford to bid on it and we are hoping a friendly nation like Venezuela will purchase it for us. At the same time, I am also asking Senator McConnell to return the bell to Philadelphia here it belongs! Do the right thing Mitch!"

In related news, Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner was last seen standing alongside of a road leading out of DC and holding a sign that read, "Will work for food."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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