Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Congress

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Journalists gathered in the nation's capitol today as Congressman Eric Cantor took the podium dressed in Revolutionary War garb and carrying a musket. The assembled Tea Party members also dressed in uniforms from the 1700's sang a song from the era, "Pop Goes the Weasel."

The members were running ran around in circles shouting, "Hoo Hah, Hoo Hah!" The government had just defaulted on its debt and the nation was in bankruptcy.

"Can't get no better than this," said Jim DeMint of South Carolina. "The people have spoken," said DeMint and went on to describe a call he had received from a constituent.

"This man," said Demint, "told me he was out of work and living in his Volkswagen Beatle with his wife, three children, two dogs and a cat. He told me that he was tired of deadbeats and although he and his family were starving and dying of the heat, he was proud that we could now get back to the good old days. He is typical of the folks in my district. These are real Americans!"

As the caucus members shot their muskets in the air, giggled, and grabbed their crotches, many spoke of going back go the good old days of Out Houses, tainted meat, walking ten miles to school every day, and thirty acres and a mule. "Let the good times roll", said one member whose family had been in the Buggy Whip business before the advent of the Horseless Carriage.

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was observed by members of the press sitting in a corner designing and sewing by hand, a new American flag. Although it looked eerily similar to the Confederate flag, Ms. Bachmann stated the design had been sent to her by God.

In related news, as word of the pending US financial collapse reached Europe, a delegation from Greece was on the way to the US to advise Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner on how to handle the crisis.

In other news, state run television in Darfur is currently running commercials showing hollow eyed, starving children in the US and asking for donations.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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