Written by Moustafa Rex
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Topics: Barack Obama

Saturday, 23 July 2011

image for Obama files for divorce
Legislative Branch responds to petition with accusations of "Big pimping and spending Gs."

The Executive Branch of the US Government filed a petition with the Judicial Branch yesterday, requesting a divorce from the Legislative Branch.

Obama cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for wanting a legal split from Congress.

The two had recently been the subject of numerous headlines often fighting over finances in the front yard, causing a disturbance to the neighbors.

Police reports from the last front-yard bout between the two indicate Congress started the argument because despite congressional efforts to cut down on the crazy spending, there was simply no shared vision between the branches.

House Speaker John Boehner, told police that the Executive Branch "refused to get serious about cutting spending."

The police report also indicated the night ended when Obama was dragged from the White House in his boxer shorts and wife-beater shirt, screaming, "They wouldn't take yes for an answer," repeatedly.

Police allege Obama attempted to break the rear drivers' side window with his bare feet, once he was placed handcuffed in the police cruiser.

The Executive Branch request for divorce was filed with two hours of Obama's release on a personal recognizance bond.

"We've got to start thinking about the future and move away from this paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle," Boehner told reporters late Friday. "We've got to cut back on the spending for stupid stuff like beer and cigarettes. He just won't listen."

Later this week, both parties are expected to file their financial reports, make their claims on property distribution and propose a custody agreement for their two special-needs children Unemployment and Social Security.

The Judicial Branch has yet to set a date for any proceedings on the matter.

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