Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Tea Party

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Eric Cantor took the podium at a press conference yesterday to announce The Tea Party Plus Pissant Pledge (PPP). Cantor originally denied being a Pissant* but with the universal acclaim of the Tea Party caucus for his new status, he is now embracing the word as his mantra.

Cantor began: "Being a Pissant is not just an attitude, it is a way of life, a way of life that I have embraced since childhood. In fact, I was Pissant before Pissant was cool! I consider the name to be a badge of honor and I am asking all of the members of our caucus to sign a pledge. Pissant Plus is a pledge to be the very biggest and prissiest Pissant that you can be, in your personal life and in your public life. It is not enough to an ordinary Pissant. Each and every one of you must walk the way you talk!"

At the conclusion of the press conference Congressman Cantor was presented the Pissant of the Year Award by the Eddie Haskell Society of America. Haskell was the character on the Leave It to Beaver TV series and defined for an entire generation the meaning of the word---Pissant.

In related news, several journalists reported seeing Speaker of the House, John Boehner in the back of the room surrounded by staff and weeping uncontrollably.

*Wikipedia: *Pissant" is an epithet for an inconsequential, irrelevant, or worthless person, especially one who is irritating or contemptible out of proportion to his or her significance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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