Written by Deafo
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Friday, 22 July 2011

The Pentagon has announced plans to force openly gay soldiers serving in the US army to wear orange jump suits to give their heterosexual counterparts the due notification of their presence within their battalion, according to reports.

Defence Secretary Leon Panetta is expected to certify the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" (DADT), seven months after the law was overturned in the Senate which looks sure to pave the way for more 'in your face' discrimination of soldiers of a particular bent.

Panetta told assembled journalists at a Pentagon de-briefing, 'This is a huge step for the US army, and America as a whole.'

'To think that we were prepared to simply send our boys into war and not let them know that some of the men they were fighting for were fags, is an abhorrent thought.'

'Those poor heterosexual guys are fighting wars on two fronts.
'One the enemy we have invaded, the other enemy from within who would more than happily invade them.'

'Orange jump suits have been used which much distinction across the US military and we intend to give them a further work out just as soon one of our 'men' is foolish enough to declare himself as a homosexual.'

'Real men would bend over and take one for the team by refusing to disclose their homosexuality.'

Gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell was in two minds about the proposal.

'Orange jump suits are on the one hand a disgusting breach of one's human rights.'

'On the other, a fantastic way of determining how many times your going to get laid throughout the course of your national service.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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