As a major heat wave continues to engulf half of the continental United States and is predicted to last into August, US President Barack Obama, in a bid to end it, has proposed having wind farms placed throughout the southern half of the heat belt in order to blow the hot air northward into Canada.
Thus far the damage from the heat wave has been extraordinary, with its worst casualty being Lady Gaga's pentagon shaped headdress melting over the top of her upper body, which had only a pair of pasties covering her nipples. It took an EMT crew of 15 two hours to carefully remove the melted headdress. Apparently, getting the melted headdress off the pasties was a very touchy procedure.
Oh, yeah, a bunch of people died too.
Obama has proposed to borrow money from China so that the US can pay China to build, deliver and install all of the wind farms. He stated that:
"No one can get things done as fast as China. Just go into a Chinese restaurant and see how fast they get you your food. You don't even have time to get your tea into your tea cup. China has told me they can get the wind farm equipment built within 24 hours using giant woks and catapulting them over here. If they start now, they should be here by tomorrow afternoon".
"We decided to send the hot air up into Canada as a favor. It should help extend Canada's summer from 3 days to 5".
"Don't worry about this affecting the US debt ceiling and killing the budget talks. I have a work around. We will lower the debt floor instead".
The Republicans of Congress who were quite confused over the whole proposal and its practicality told Obama that they would vote against it. Just to be sure.
Tea Party candidate, Sarah Palin, added her opinion of the whole idea by stating:
"What is Obama talking about? Wind doesn't come from a farm! You cannot grow wind on a farm! Everyone knows that you get wind from Chicago. That's why they call it the Windy City".
While Congress is debating the proposal, Obama is on his way to spend the next month in Iceland to work on a secret project, code named chill.