Orange County CA (AP) Defeated Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin's new documentary "Undefeated" opened in selected theaters to abysmal ticket sales and largely negative reviews. The documentary, which some critics have termed, "a sickening self promotional political infomercial" failed to fill a single theater, and most were nearly empty.
When contacted for a response, Palin issued the following statement via her press liaison, Joseph Goebbels:
"It's obvious to me that this was a vile conspiracy among the godless liberals who hate our Christian Nation and want to destroy it. They used witchcraft to cast spells that kept people from seeing my awesome patriotic documentary. Without those evil spells, people would have been lined up to watch my movie instead of the demonic Harry Potter.
"America needs strong leadership and even stronger laws to protect citizens from seeing such un-Biblical pornography. In Exodus, God commands, 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.' Therefore it is incumbent upon our government to refudiate this dire threat to our society and freedom, and completely ban all of the Harry Potter books and movies.
Palin continued, "We need to legislate strong deterrent penalties for those who violate the law and read or watch those dangerous books and movies.
At a later press conference, Palin was asked if the punishments for reading or watching the fiction should include the death penalty. The defeated 2008 Vice Presidential candidate replied, "You Betcha!"
When contacted for a response the author of the popular books, J.K. Rowling said, "Who the hell is Sarah Palin?"