What started out being a bad day for US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog, ended up being a good day with him actually increasing his lead in the polls over his rivals.
The day started when it was revealed that Mr. Frog had been slapped with a class action paternity suit by a couple hundred of female frogs who claimed the he had fathered close to a million of their children and had not once paid a cent of child support.
"It appears that Mr. Frog is not the frog that he has advertised himself to be", started Mr. Meisterfibber who was heading the suit. "He is not an honest frog, no, not at all. He is a low down slutty, whoring, dead beat dad who likes to do the humpty-dumpty with every fertile female frog each spring. As soon as he is done doing the humpty-dumpty he abruptly leaves to hang out with his buddies along the Georgetown strip, peeking under the dresses of women as they walk by".
"Mr. Frog has never taken any interest in any of the fat headed ugly little swishers that have hatched from the 'clutches' of the many female frogs that he has impregnated".
Freddy the Frog wasted no time in challenging the class action suit by putting out the following retort:
"The accusations against me are completely untrue at best and frivolous at less than best. They have been made in both malice and purpose in order to derail my bid for becoming president of the United States. Hell, what male frog hasn't done the humpty-dumpty each spring with as many female frogs as possible? Honestly, these female frogs are doing the humpty-dumpty with just as many male frogs as male frogs are doing with female frogs. Geez, what does anyone expect? We're fucking frogs! Literally!"
"I would like to know just how these bitches have come up with the idea that all the bodiless, fat headed buggers, are actually mine? I demand a paternity test to prove which ones are mine. And besides, even if I did father a million of the little shits, I bet 95 percent of them have already been eaten by now".
When asked how he would go about proving which offspring were Freddy's, Meisterfibber stated:
"It is going to be a very difficult task for us to get the DNA samples to prove paternity, seeing that all of those decrepit bastards not only look the same but every one of them has the same first and last name of Bubba Croaker".
"But if there is a bill there is a way".
Apparently the class action suit has had no negative effects on Freddy's popularity. As a matter of fact, Freddy's following has grown considerably as is reflected in the presidential polls.
Tee shirt sales have gone out the roof in the US, especially amongst Freddy's female supporters with the number 2 selling tee shirt being:
"I slept with Freddy the Fog"
The number one selling tee shirt is:
"I'm having Freddy the Frog's baby"
More on this story as it breaks.