Written by Michael Balton
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Friday, 15 July 2011

image for Rupert Murdoch hacks his own phone to find out what he is thinking

New York - Under fire from a phone hacking scandal that threatens to destroy his communications empire, media mogul Rupert Murdoch today admitted that he routinely hacks his own phone daily "just to keep up with what's going on."

"Once you turn 80 years old, one's memory isn't quite as effective as it used to be," Murdoch told a crowd of reporters at a hastily called press conference at the US headquarters of his News Corporation.

"Perhaps I'm suffering from that memory disease, I can't recall its name," the press baron continued. "Or maybe I'm just getting forgetful in my old age.

"At any rate, I find it helps if I leave myself phone messages throughout the day. Then any time I want to remember something, I simply hack my own phone."

The room erupted with a deafening babble of reporters shouting questions. Most inquired whether or not Murdoch planned to use his alleged loss of memory as a defense to salvage his media kingdom.

Murdoch replied: "Could you repeat those questions? I'm sure they are excellent, but I can't remember a single one."

Eventually a reporter was selected to convey a simply phrased question to Murdoch regarding his intent to use a mental disability defense.

"Let me check with my phone, and I'll get back to you on that one," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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