Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 15 July 2011

image for Texas Governor Rick "The Stick" Perry Says If Harold Camping Dares To Set Foot In Texas He'll Have His Lying Butt Arrested Faster Than He Can Say "Huh?"
Governor Rick Perry's favorite bull, "Bulldozer" who has fathered over 9,000 calves.

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry and his lovely wife Anita were enjoying a nice meal of fajita tacos at a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos in Austin when he was asked about radio talk show personality Harold Camping.

Buck Yazoo, a reporter with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine, and a long time friend of Perry's said that he heard the governor say that he did not much care for the doom and gloom predicting fella.

Rick "The Stick" as he is called because of his penchant for carrying around a Louisville Slugger Baseball Bat to get the attention of some of the younger hoodlum element said that truth be told he actually hates the little skinny butted worm.

Perry compared him to Ann Coulter except that Coulter is blonde, taller, and not as feminine looking.

The governor said that there are three things that he hates rattlesnakes, chupacabras, and Harold Camping.

He noted that Camping had predicted that the Cleveland Cavaliers would win the 2010-2011 NBA Basketball Championship - well the Cavs finished in last place.

Camping also said that this years Kentucky Derby was going to be cancelled because all of the horses would come down with hoof-in-mouth disease.

Perry said that Harold the worm shot himself in the foot because everyone knows that cows get hoof-in-mouth disease not horses.

Horses are afflicted with horsefeatheritis, which causes duck like feathers to grow out of their nostrils and actually makes them quack instead of neigh.

Perry then noted that Camping really proved that he is nothing but a damn flim flam con artist when he predicted that the host of America's Got Talent Nick Cannon's wife the sensuously lovely and ever so bosomy Mariah Carey would have triplets; well Mariah had twins.

Governor Perry has instructed his Texas Rangers that if they see Harold Camping set foot in Texas that he is to be arrested immediately and treated as if he is a damn, friggin, no-good, cowardly, bomb-in-his shorts carrying terrorist.

He then grinned like the Corpus Christi cat that swallowed the Corsicana canary and added that if the little piece of sh*t even remotely tries to resist arrest that he gives his rangers permission to shoot the little arrogant sh*tball in the foot.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Governor Rick Perry is one hombre who does not take any crap from anyone. Back when Kanye West jumped up on stage and took away Taylor Swift's microphone, Perry remarked to his javelina pig hunting buddy Elmer "Boom Boom" Buffetwater that if he had tried to take the mic out of his hand Kanye the Pest would have ended up with the microphone as a rectal thermometer.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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