Written by Don Fulsom
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Friday, 15 July 2011

In order to escape the limelight, Casey Anthony will eventually be relocated to a far distant part of the country and guarded around the clock by pit bulls dressed up as mutts.

Unimpeachable sources say she will live in a disguise under a fake name. Casey will pretend to be an ordinary wife in her new secret location, an upscale suburb of a major northeastern city.

She will be given a fake husband, a "fat suit" to make her look plumper, as well as free plastic surgery and hair bleach. The Florida Offender Relocation Service says the precautions are being taken so none of the people who believe Casey got away with murder can track her down and punish her.

The service says Casey's tattoo will also be erased for her new life in hiding. Authorities say the man who is picked to be Casey's fake husband will be big, strong and immune to chloroform.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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