President George W. Bush, following protocol of over 200 years, invited a visiting head of state to dinner at the White House and offered the Lincoln bedroom for the night. Unfortunately for Washington D.C., that head of state was King Kong.
"I thought because his first name was King, he was a president like me. Nobody ever told me different," said a confused and scarred President. "I've invited Prince, B.B. King, Duke Ellington, Queen Latifah, Earl Monroe, Jack Lord, Don King (I think he was Spanish and African royalty), and lots of other blue blooded folks to the white house for BBQ and we've never had these kinds of problems."
In the middle of the dinner, the giant ape grabbed a blonde reporter for a local news station and ran across the street to the Washington Monument. He begin scaling the structure with the woman in tow. When asked why he took the reporter rather than one of the other ladies available, a White House staffer said the following (on conditions of anonymity): "Have you seen the President's daughters? They're not even attractive to an ape. No wonder they're always drinking, they've go to get possible suitors smashed before they'll look at them. Cheney's daughter was there too, but he must have smelled she was a lesbian because he avoided her. He grabbed the only attractive woman in the room, I was planning on making a move for her myself, and ran for the tallest structure in sight."
The White House Press Secretary was unsure of why the animal bolted and ran. "If you don't like dinner in a foreign country, you just push it around on your plate and fake a stomach ache. This guy ate everything on the table, and then threw the serving dishes at the wait staff. I guess the President's favorite meal of brisket and bbq sauce did not agree with him."
King Kong stopped at the top of the Washington Monument, beat his hands against his chest, and let out a Tarzan type cry. FIghter jets from a nearby Air Force base scrambled in and circled the giant ape, waiting for an opening to shoot. After a few minutes, he let out a tremendous belch. Seemingly satisfied with this, he grabbed the girl and returned to ground level. After blasting a round of flatulence in the direction of the White House, the huge gorilla went to the water pool in the park and drank his fill. A few more belches to clear the taste of the hot Texas style bbq sauce from his mouth, and King Kong was once again happy.
He and the reporter headed for a tryst behind the Lincoln Memorial. Afterwards, the obviously sore and bow-legged lady refused to "kiss and tell," but did say that she got his number and was going to "call the big boy."
Democratic Senator and prospective presidential hopefull Hillary Clinton had this to say of the eventful evening: "What's the idiot going to do next? Invite God-zilla to dinner because he thinks he's the head of some church?"