Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 July 2011

image for Jerry Springer Announces That He Is Throwing His Chair...Ah Hat Into The Presidential Ring
The political manager of Springer's Trash Bag Party Stravinski "Poco Loco" Quackweather.

CINCINNATI - Jerry Springer who single-handedly brought the world of trailer parks, ghettos, barrios, slums, backwoods, and various assorted loons into the homes of America has just made a big announcement.

Springer told GOPicky Magazine that he will be entering the presidential primaries as a candidate for the Trash Bag Party.

Jerry, who just recently surpassed Jerry Lewis and Jerry Seinfeld as the most famous Jerry in America, says that if Sarah "Snowflake" Palin and Michele "Boo-Boo" Bachmann can run for the nation's highest office then he certainly can to.

The former talk show host said that he is even more entitled to run for president than either Palin or Bachmann since he happens to be a member of the gender that every single president of the United States of America has been a member of.

Springer said that each and every day he receives at least 80 emails and 95 text messages urging him to toss his hat into the ring and run.

The former mayor of Cincinnati at first was going to run as a member of the Tea Bag Party but changed his mind when lots of his friends started making fun of him by calling him The Ohio Teabagger, Old Man Tea Bags, and The Teabagging Twit.

He said that he did not want to run as a Democrat because he knows that President Obama would kick his ass so he decided to form his own party - The Trash Bag Party.

Jerry says that recent polls which have been conducted by the independent polling firm Polls "R" Us have shown that he will definitely get a lot of votes from four states in particular, Ohio, Alaska, Wisconsin, and Arizona.

Springer smiled and added that his good friend Gary Busey has also informed him that he will most certainly get just about all of the loony vote as well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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