Written by IainB
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Topics: Death, Death Row

Sunday, 10 July 2011

image for Execution Drugs Withdrawn - too dangerous
Who'd have known? Next you'll be saying Valium is addictive!

Two of the suppliers of the drugs used by the execution industry are withdrawing their use after it was discovered that they can cause death.

"We never realised," said Bridget Tofar, lawyer for Smasho-Glyph-Kind. "We've been making Sodium Pentathol for a few decades, who knew it could be used to kill people?"

According to Tofar, SGK discovered the alternate use of their sedative when they thought to ask why a local prison known locally as "Death Row" was getting through so much Sodium Pentathol.

"It was a real eye opener," said Tofar. "Apparently, they use our purely innocent sedative to make people die! This was appalling news."

Elsewhere, SGK have also found out that intelligence agencies have been using their drugs also.

"We also found out that the FBI were using our drug to make people tell the truth!" Tofar said. "Which we also found intolerable."

Selena Heyum, head chemist at Smasho-Glyph-Kind, was also surprised at the so called "off-label" uses of Sodium Pentathol. "It did explain quite a lot though. We've had far better sedatives available for sale for ten years now. They're very good, and lots of hospitals buy them. But SP was our best seller, bizarrly. Never understood it until now."

Heyum went onto apologise for not being able to spell bizarrely.

"At least our other products aren't used in such a devious way," said Heyum. "Our water purifying cyanide pills are still popular, as is our ricin weed killer pellets."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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