Written by Sal Manella
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Topics: life

Thursday, 7 July 2011

image for Got Mooch?
Wayne Slack, the Thompson's Mooch

The latest must have item among upwardly mobile Americans is the personal mooch. For years, being able to afford a full-time live-in butler, maid, or nanny has been the mark of the well to do. Today however, it has become mandatory to have a person living in your home and eating your food while not doing a damn thing - this useless person is known as a mooch.

Paul and Becky Thompson, of Hartford, Connecticut, are typical mooch enthusiasts.

Paul is a wet nurse, and Becky is the Chief Executive Officer of a Misfortune 400 biotech company which focuses on recycling human feces into TV dinners.

Paul, 44 and Becky, 43, say they are happy to be able to afford a mooch and plan to get a second one as soon as possible.

"People know that we have made it" beamed an obviously proud Paul. Becky nodded in obvious agreement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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