Written by jd Balderdash
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 28 November 2005

image for President Bush swallows live Goldfish Live

President Bush, during his weekly State of the Union address surprised members of his video crew by grabbing one of the goldfish in the fish bowl on his desk and swallowing the goldfish .. live. Bush, after a few seconds continued with his speech to America saying ..

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle everyone but dang these things are good. Like I was saying, we are still communicating with Iraqi Foreign Minister, Hoshyar Zebari in hopes of coming to an .."

Inside sources say that the president has been secretly swallowing live goldfish for years but apparently finally decided to come "out of the closet" .. during a live weekly address to the nation. Later during the broadcast Bush continued,

"Our economy is strong, our unemployment rate as you've seen has dropped by .. excuse me", Bush reaching into the fish bowl and swallowing another live goldfish.

"I'm sorry", Bush said, "but once you have one .. you can't seem to stop. Like I was saying, this economy of ours is not only rebounding but .."

Viewers watching Saturday's telecast did not see, thanks to the film crew's alertness, Bush near the end of his speech picking up the entire fish bowl, placing it to his mouth and guzzling down not only all the remaining goldfish in it but all the goldfish water in it as well.

One video broadcasting crew member at the scene candidly told reporters,

"After he drank the bowl of goldfish he washed it down with what we think was a glass of Bud Lite on his desk. For America's sake we cut to a commercial when all that happened. We thought it a bit too graphic and weird to broadcast that."

Florida Governor Jeb Bush does say that "goldfish swallowing" does run in the Bush family adding that he though, Jeb has not swallowed a goldfish in well over a month. He did, however say ..

"Ok .. last week I did put one in my mouth but I immediately spit it back into the bowl so that doesn't count."

The president concluded his address to the nation by praising our troops, burping profusely and, off camera, "coughing up a couple of fins" and adding,

"What the HECK are you doing swallowing a bowl of live goldfish?", the president apparently reading his teleprompter without first comprehending the words.

Production crews quickly disabled the president's teleprompter leaving him with nothing more to do than stare blankly into the camera until the networks cut the feed.

Make jd Balderdash's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

4 15 13 2

Go to top