Written by Ellie James
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Thursday, 7 July 2011

image for Governor Rick Perry Still Deciding on Run for Presidency
Taquitos from Maria's Taco Express

Rick Perry, current Governor of Texas is known for two things. He is a fan of fuzzy accounting, and he has great hair. Perry is considering running for President of the United States. According to a document found at Austin's Saxon Pub, the only reason he is considering not running is graying prematurely.

Jonathan St. John, 32, of Austin is currently tending bar at Saxon Pub and found a pros and cons list left behind by the governor. It's simply titled: Running for President. It is a T-chart written on a yellow piece of legal paper.

For the cons side of the chart, Perry is reported to have written the following:

- I can't shoot at things while jogging;
- I have to appear on The Daily Show;
- I don't know how to play an instrument;
- my hair might turn gray;
- I hate the name "slick Rick;"
- no more Saxon Pub;
- Re-modeling all the Obama's green, eco-friendly editions to the White House.

The pro side include:

- can bring all of my CDs;
- can finally get out of the damned heat;
- can get away from the Mexican border finally;
- Maria's Taco Express can overnight my tacos;
- I can color my hair purple because I'd be the fucking president;
- There are no coyotes in D.C.;
- will be rid of Austin hippies;
- Texas teachers won't be my problem anymore;
- I'd get to bowl whenever I wanted.

Governor Perry has yet to formally announce his candidacy. However, he has been seen at the local superstore with a shopping cart of Natural Instincts hair coloring kits. Brown Black for Men to be precise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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