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Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for With an Overwhelming Lead in the Polls, US Presidential Candidate, Freddy the Frog, Unveils his Party's Platform
It's a green thing!

A day after announcing his jump into the 2012 United States Presidential Race, Hopster Party candidate, Freddy the Frog, unveils his party's platform in the shadow of unprecedented poll numbers.

Non-Associated Press (NAP) poll numbers that were released this morning, just 24 hours after Freddy the Frog's hop into the US Presidential fray, have Mr. Frog with a whopping 78 percent of polled registered voters, saying they would vote for Mr. Frog, over any other candidate of any party, if the election was held today.

Mr. Frog's presidential rivals have dismissed NAP's poll results as superficial due to the fact that Mr. Frog is clearly a sleeper to win the 2012 US presidency.

"These poll results are completely bogus", said Republican hopeful Michele Bachmann. "They are absurd and ridiculous. The Non-Associated Press isn't called NAP for a reason".

Not to be deterred by the derogatory comments from his rivals, Freddy the Frog's spokesman, Bubba Croaker, held a press conference this afternoon to unfold Freddy the Frog's presidential platform.

"Mr. Frog has been accused by his rivals of being very fuzzy", stated Bubba Croaker. "This is a complete misconception of what Mr. Frog is all about. While Mr. Frog may be fuzzy on the outside, when it comes to his political platform, unlike his rivals, Mr. Frog is not fuzzy at all".

"His basic platform, which does not include his entire platform, as it is way too complicated for simple people, is as follows:"

1. Ban all frog legs and all abuse to frogs.
2. Make meals of all snapping turtles, fish and anything else that eat frogs, their offspring(s) or their legs.
3. Put restraining orders against clumsy people who cannot walk straight and end up stepping on frogs and killing them to keep a distance of at least a hundred yards from any frog.
4. Make all frog dissections for any class at any school level illegal (this is actually covered in number 1, but we just put it here to be sure).
5. Have the same restraining order, as number 3, for idiot drivers who accidentally run over frogs because they cannot drive (we could have added this to number 3, but is much more impressive for Mr. Frog's basic platform to have 5 numbers instead of 4).

"This is Mr. Frog's platform in a nutshell. One thing we left out, is Mr. Frog's commitment to the green movement, which should be quite obvious due to the fact that Mr. Frog is way greener than all of his presidential opponents combined".

More on this story as it breaks…

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