Phoenix AZ: The body of Mr. T. Tomahawk was found in his suburban Phoenix home today. The deceased was employed as a missile design engineer at a local facility of a large defense contractor.
Police were called by Mrs. Tomahawk who found her husband's body slumped over his computer desk, where he had been working, when she returned from playing bridge at a neighbor's house. Further investigation revealed that the victim had died from blunt force trauma to the back of the head, being inflicted by a bronzed slide rule.
Police examined the bronzed slide rule, used as a paper weight, finding traces of Mr. Tomahawk's blood and hair. Then they noticed the email message on the computer screen from a Program Manager, a Mr. J. Waters that read "Have money for TROLLOP, go do the TRAMP."
At this point a shaking Mrs. Tomahawk broke down and confessed to hitting her philandering husband with the bronzed slide rule. Mr. Waters was called and explained that TROLLOP was an acronym for Tomahawk Real-Time On-Line Logical Link Operational Program and TRAMP was an acronym for Tomahawk Real-Time Autonomous Missile Payload.
Mrs. Tomahawk was taken to police headquarters to be booked for manslaughter, with the crime report stating a jealous rage as the cause. The local District Attorney may determine that Mr. Waters will be charged as an accessory before the fact!