Written by Don Fulsom
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Topics: Cats, Doris Day

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

image for Doris Day Survives Cat Mauling
Doris Day or a bunch of cats or both

Renowned animal lover and cat collector Doris Day treated herself at home after she was scratched multiple times in what she claims was a coordinated attack by scores of cats that lived in two of the bedrooms of her three-bedroom $1.3 million dollar estate in Carmel, California.

"They were just hungry for attention as well as their food and didn't mean any harm," the movie and music legend said. "Besides, I've been bitten so much by all my wonderful cats over all my years, I've developed an immunity to all cat-borne diseases."

The 87-year-old who was once known as "America's Sweetheart" said she would make a new single, her first since the 1960s. "Dodo," as movie buffs know her, says the tune will probably be a Hip-hop version of Cat Scratch Fever, to mark her quick recovery from the recent feline assault.

The plucky retired star says she'll make the recording with the sounds of her cats dubbed into the background. The 45rpm record will be released in September, just before Miss Day plans to enter rehab for a serious addiction to catnip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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