Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Eric Cantor

Friday, 1 July 2011

Congressman Eric Cantor called a news conference late yesterday in response to the outcry about his investment shorting US treasury bonds thus betting against the success of America.

Many in the government and the media noted he had been sitting on the committee to resolve the US debt crisis while at the same time investing in its failure. They had compared him to Judas.

Cantor said: "First, I have made, thus far, far fewer than thirty piece of silver, but even if I had made more, what's the big deal? I could have made much more if I had fixed a horse race, a boxing match, or a basketball game. I would never do such a thing. The fact is, they say you can't beat the dealer. Well, in fact, you can beat the dealer if you are the dealer. That is why we come to Congress."

Cantor started to leave the podium and turned back, "Besides, you can make a lot more money than thirty pieces of silver just by double dipping in a Salvation Army Christmas kettle."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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