Written by mikewadestr
Print this
Topics: casey anthony

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

image for Tickets Now Sold at Casey Anthony Trial to Watch People Fight to get into the Casey Anthony Trial
Cut in front of me? Eat this!

The courthouse in Orlando, Florida where the Casey Anthony murder trial is being held has started selling tickets to by-standers who wish to watch the people waiting in line to enter the courtroom for the trial, beat the crap out of one another.

A series of chairs, three rows deep, has been set up along the line of people waiting to gain access to the trial. These chairs are paid for by spectators who want to enjoy the excitement of fights that break out between the people standing in line and those who want to cut in front of them.

The pricing for the seats are as follows:

Front row - 100 bucks
Second row - 75 bucks
Third row - 50 bucks

An extra 50 bucks allows a seated spectator to sucker punch someone who is involved in a scuffle.

The 50 bucks only covers one sucker punch, so if someone wants to throw more than one, they are going to have to pay for it.

All proceeds will go to help the City of Orlando to close its current 500 billion dollar budget deficit.

"This is great!" exclaimed street vendor Jerry Rip-Off. "Man, I've only been here an hour and I'm almost sold out of everything".

"Right now, the line jockeys are buying up the stun guns and tasers. You know, I like stun guns but, between you and me, the tasers are a much better deal. With a stun gun you have to get right up to whoever you're going to use it on to zap them. Sometimes it's hard to get a full zap when the sucker is moving around".

"Now the tasers on the other hand are really nice because you just shoot out the electric barbs from about 5 or 6 feet away and they stick right into the twerp. You can just keep on pumping juice into the loser every so many seconds that it takes to recharge the taser. They say that the barbs are supposed to be removed surgically, but I say, fuck that. A good yank will get them out".

"The seat jockeys are buying out the brass knuckles to keep from bruising their knuckles when they sucker punch a line jockey. This allows them to get in a whole lot of hits without hurting their hand".

"First aid kits are selling pretty well too".

Apparently, the seats are becoming very coveted and fights are starting to break out amongst the seat spectators, which has led the City of Orlando to put in another set of seats behind them for spectators to watch them beat the crap out of each other.

"That is just fine with me", laughed Jerry Rip-Off. "I guess I'll just have to double my inventory".

Make mikewadestr's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 3?

4 11 19 5
75 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more