Washington - In an attempt to stimulate the US economy, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke gives Americans the thumbs-up to begin using Monopoly money. At a Fed press conference Monday morning, Bernanke encouraged Americans to, "Pass Go, collect $200 and go spend like crazy."
After suffering through months of declining sales, New Jersey 7-Eleven business owner Kaka Bijaka is thrilled with the prospect of customers using Monopoly money to make purchases for items, such as gas, beef jerky and Slurpees. "My customers like the blue ones best," Bijaka stated.
Wall Street, adept at the game of Whisper Down the Alley, is buzzing with excitement as several prominent Wall Street firms upgrade Hasbro to a "strong buy" rating.
Hasbro, which currently manufactures Monopoly in China, is printing Monopoly money almost as fast as Ben Bernanke prints the US dollar. In a follow-up interview with Katie Couric late this morning, Bernanke stated, "It was inevitable that the US Treasury would be forced to print money in China."
Credible sources have informed us here at The Spoof, that Fed Chairman Bernanke was overheard in the men's room stating, "If I was a betting man, I'd put my money on Boardwalk and Park Place."