DALLAS - Laura Bush recently told a reporter for GOPicky Magazine that she is getting fed up with the way her husband, former President George Dubya Bush has been treating her lately.
Laurita, as Dubya playfully calls her, said that he is not abusing her physically, mentally, or emotionally, but that he has been making some very snide remarks about her cooking lately.
Mrs. Bush spoke with Tabitha Tula Wishywater and said that before he would never criticize her cooking and now that he is no longer the president he seems to have become very critical.
She said that one day last week he even jumped all over her because the strawberry jello that she had made did not taste as strawberrily (his word) as it normally does.
She told him that she made it the same exact way that she has been making it for the past 33 years and that he said that she needs to stop watching the damn soap operas and concentrate more on her kitcheny chores.
Mrs. Bush said she told him that he needed to get his ex-presidential ass out of her kitchen before he found a pan of bowling water drenching his "Little Dubya."
And then just yesterday he got mad because his tuna fish sandwich was cold. She reminded him that it was tuna fish and that no one has ever eaten a warm tuna fish sandwich.
He reminded her that he wore the pants in the family and that he would not be taking any back talk from a former first lady.
And with that Laura told the former ex-president that if he does not back off of this constant criticizing she is going to spill the beans and tell the entire nation that there never were any damn weapons of mass destruction.
She grinned as she said that she would let it be known that it was all a bullshit lie cooked up by Dicky Cheney, Donnie Rumsfeld, and Georgie Bush in order to get all of the American people united so that Bush could have their total support and lead America into that stupid ass war with Iran (her words).
Miss Wishywater stated that George Bush pleaded with his wife to please not do that and that he promised her he would never again criticize her cooking.