It was like a wet version of the Hindenburg being broadcast on CNN live in New Hampshire. Romney sparred with Pawlenty, but suddenly they kissed and made up. Bachman turned to overdrive, but sputtered her water all over Gingrich.
Then it came as Anderson Cooper announce the mayhem, "Oh holy humanity!I've never seen such destruction and devastation, pieces of the bag are falling on the candidates and audience and...and...smothering them! Oh my god! Its like the end of the world! Everywhere I look it is cellulose falling and sticking to everything it hits! Newt Gingrich is flattened on his stomach and looks like a pregnant penguin trying to get to his feet and he's hit by more paper! He's definitely down for the count!!"
At this point CNN went dead and put up an electronic "stand by" sign. Other networks looked puzzled as to what they saw. "It was horrendous," said Katie Couric, "I've never seen anything like it. Hope that we don't see and any more debates like this one."
The Republican party issued this statement, "This obvious blunder is not our fault, but that of the Obama Administration for continuing to fund grants for Fire Departments whom we asked to water down the paper bag. This is a sad day for America, it looks like our candidates couldn't beat their way out of a wet paper bag."