Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Tuesday, 14 June 2011

image for San Francisco to vote on religious mutilation ban
Are you religiously mutilated?

In an up-and-coming vote which will take place in San Francisco in November, voters will be given the choice on whether religious groups should be banned from mutilating their children in the name of their faith.

The ban is controversial because many people in the city currently carry out such practices.

Gerald Death is a Satanist who will be affected. He has a two year old son, Damien, and next year he is planning to engrave a pentangle in his son's forehead while bathing him in goats' blood. But if the legislation passes, then he will not be able to do so.

"It's a traditional Satanist practice!" he protests, "These damn pinko liberals are denying me a right to practise my faith. Next they'll be saying we aren't allowed to sacrifice virgins or burn down churches."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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