The History Channel has announced that it has created a new show called: History According to Sarah Palin which is scheduled to start airing at the end of September. The show's first season will include 13 shows that will all be narrated by Sarah Palin herself, who will address a different historical topic each week. Sarah will be helped by such characters as Sponge Bob Square Pants, his good friend Patrick, Mr. Squid and Mr. Crab who will all play the animated rolls in the re-enactments of the narrated history.
The History Channel has already announced that the first show has been completed and initial reviews have been exceptional. The show covers the life and times of Long John Silver, who, according to Palin, was a pirate and an American sympathizer who fought the British Navy in order to get back all the silver that the British stole from the American colonies.
"Long John Silver was the one who created the CIA so they could hire all those pirates from Somalia to help the colonies get their silver back from the British", says Palin. "He made a mistake by not paying those Somalia pirates after they helped him, so they cut off his leg and went back to Somalia where they are still pirating today".
"He, also, went out and caught all those lobsters and crabs and put them in those pots so the colonists could have food because everybody was starving. He, also, invented the American silver dollar".
"What made him so unique", continued Palin. "Is that he was extremely talented. He had a very large penis and used it to make sex education films which are still in use today".
A survey, conducted by the Washington think tank BrainDead, found that 20% of the voting public would vote for her, 20% would not, while the remaining 60% swears that they voted her off American Idol on the second week.
You go girl.