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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Taste the "glitz and glamour" of Hollywood, or enjoy VIP treatment through U$ Homeland Security.
Hollywood hill, the secret location of U$ Homeland Security, Victor & Victoria Meldrews not welcome from the UK!

Los Angeles Docks, California, USA: With the United States having the record for the most stringent and thorough security and entry requirements in the world, with 12 million illegal immigrants roaming around in the country, tensions were running high, when a group of 2,000 elderly British cruise ship passengers docked.

It wasn't easy for U$ Homeland Security to stay calm, when being berated by a load of Victor and Victoria Meldrew types arriving at Los Angeles on their £10,000, two-and-a-half month "Alaska Adventure" tour, so they ensured that full finger prints were done on left and right hands and all the biometric stuff, for all Victor and Victoria Meldrews...

Passing through an airport in San Paulo, Brazil there is a large clear sign as you approach immigration control. It boldly declares, with words to that effect;

"Welcome to Brazil. We operate on the principal of reciprocity. We like to treat our visitors as we are treated when we go to your country."

EU passport holders can walk the 20 feet straight to the smiling courteous officials who bid them on their way with minimal fuss. Very civilized indeed!

However, US citizens are made to walk the maze of shame, a completely needless walk through a good 100m and 4 or 5 zigzagging bends in the cordon tape before eventually returning to an official dealing with citizens from other countries. If your a US citizen and you arrive in Brazil, they have a special customs clearance queue for you, where they give you the finger printing, eye / retina scans and interrogation if necessary. It's only for US citizens and is a retaliatory measure for the stupid procedure carried out on everyone else at the US ports of entry...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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