Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for A New Orleans Weatherman States That If A Hurricane Hits New Orleans The Mississippi River Will Flow Backwards All The Way Back Up To Minnesota
A playground in Baton Rouge, Louisiana located next to the Mississippi River.

NEW ORLEANS - Algonquin Brewtiddle one of the most respected weathercasters in the South recently spoke with reporters about the Mississippi River and the recent flooding.

Brewtiddle said that he entered all kinds of weather facts, information, and tidbits into his Virtuoso Deluxe-9013 Weather Computer and he received some rather interesting results.

The Virtuoso Deluxe-9013, revealed that if a category 5 hurricane were to hit New Orleans right now that the force of the 200 plus mile per hour winds would be so powerful that they would literally push all of the floodwater's in the Mississippi River that are presently flowing south and reverse them into flowing backwards and up north towards Minnesota where they first originated.

Brewtiddle told Columbus Tiffbottom of The L.A, Watchdog Witnesser that the volume of water returning towards Minnesota would be so great that it would literally form a sixth Great Lake.

The noted weatherman stated that he did not mean to imply that a hurricane was going to hit New Orleans but added that the Bayou State and the American mainland have been fairly lucky the past few hurricane seasons.

He went on to say that according to the Virtuoso Deluxe-9013, a hurricane that begins with a vowel will probably hit either New Orleans, Louisiana; Pascagoula, Mississippi; or Key West, Florida this year.

Brewtiddle did say that if a Category 5 hurricane were to hit Key West head on the force would be so tremendous that the entire island of Key West could possibly end up in either Alabama or Mississippi.

He said that he did not want to alarm country artist Jimmy Buffett or any of the self-named Conchs who reside on Key West but that he just wanted them to be prepared because like the Seminole Indians of the past used to say, "Heap big water wind she come and take palm trees, sand, and teepee's, and carry them off quick to the Land of the Banjo (Alabama)."

In other news. June 9 is Donald Duck's birthday. He was born in 1934, so this year he turns 77. His family asks that in lieu of receiving gifts and presents interested parties instead make a donation to the National Donald Duck Bill Replacement Foundation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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