Written by Dr. Billingsgate

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Topics: anthony weiner

Monday, 6 June 2011

image for Anthony Weiner Blames Anal Vacuum Pump For Sucked Up Face
Where The Sun Doesn't Shine

BREAKING NEWS: New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, when asked by a reporter why his sucked-up face looked like he had just stuck his head in a wind tunnel, responded by saying that he suffered from Stage IV acne when he was a teenager, and the doctor attempted to drain the black heads by inserting a vacuum pump into the lower part of his alimentary canal, and ever since, his face has looked like it is being sucked up his own asshole.

The beleaguered congressman, already the subject of sophomoric humor by the likes of Jon Stewart and other late show talk hosts, hastily canceled a speaking engagement Sunday because he didn't want to show his face in public after not being able to deny a picture of his crotch belonged to him.

Today, another photo of Mr. Weiner lounging on a couch with two cats, whom he described as "his pussies," is currently hitting the presses. His poor wife, obviously embarrassed by the behavior of her loutish husband, has gone to great lengths to avoid being seen in public.

Will she take one for the team like Elliot Spitzer's wife? Stay tuned....

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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