Washington DC (AP) Following the lead of Representative Virginia Foxx (Nutjob-NC) who introduced successful legislation to ban any federal education assistance from being used to teach abortion techniques in medical schools, the social conservative authoritarian caucus in the U.S. House, led by Representative Michele Bachamman (Bat Shit Crazy-MN) introduced broad new legislation that would phase out all medical training. If passed, the new laws would eventually make the practice of medicine a crime, while providing federal subsidies to prayer groups and faith healers with late night television programs.
According to the bill, which is still in committee, all medical schools and curricula would be phased out by 2014, and in 2016, those who violated the law prohibiting medical research and practice could face life in prison, or a public stoning in the town square.
Following a "Pray the Gay Away" Tea Party Rally, Bachmann 2012 campaign spokespreacher Ted Haggard explained that since all health issues are ultimately the result of sinful behavior, using 21st century medical technology was an abomination in the eyes of the Lord God and should not be permitted nor funded by the government of a Christian nation at any level.
Haggard continued, "The Bible clearly states that if you get sick, it is because you have sinned. Therefore, using medical sorcery to escape your well deserved punishment is against God's will. Repent, and pray for mercy and healing from the Father. If your faith is true, you will be healed by His hand. And if not, well, too bad. I guess it sucks to be you."