Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 1 June 2011

image for Weiner dazed & confused on how "Cucumber Got Papped in My Shorts!"
Some Say Weiner Just Stuck a Sock innit!

'Weinergate' continues to escalate with Staunch Democratic Congress Member Anthony Weiner now waffling over his Penis Pix saying "I can't say with Certitude that it's not mine, it may be a cucumber that inadvertently slipped into my shorts while I was making a Chef's Salad with Martha Stewart!"

Weiner says he has hired a private security firm to investigate whether any of the out takes from " Late Night Cooking in the Kitchen with Martha" were accidentally posted on line to promote her show.

"There were a lot of late night rehearsals with Martha in order to get it just right," said the Whinny Weiner after repeated questions from aroused Media reporters, "it's possible during the salad session a cucumber slipped down into my jockeys in an attempt to relieve the tension in the kitchen.. Martha can be quite up tight sometimes, and usually an off colour cucumber joke will bring her around, she got a penchant for the really big ones after being in jail all that time without a chef salad, if you get my drift!"

Stewart, reached in her kitchen where she was preparing 'Spotted Dick' for her upcoming Segment "So You Think You Can Cook British," denied ever seeing either Weiner's wiener, much less a rampant cucumber in his shorts.

"My staff did interview him and give him a screen test to see if we could work him into a segment for the show on Jewish Cooking, but all he wanted to do was talk about himself and tell jokes about one eared elephants. I think he has "small dick' syndrome...the guy is definitely a PUTZ with a problem."

Meanwhile back in New York where Weiner is a perennial candidate for Mayor, gleeful republicans are preparing a new add campaign featuring the now infamous engorged shorts for a Time Square billboard campaign with the slogan:

"ANTHONY WEINER WANTS TO BE MAYOR, BUT MAKES BIG PROMISES HE CAN'T DELIVER!"

Bill Clinton, Eric Massa, Arnold Schwarzenneger and Johnny 'Wad" Holmes (RIP) were unavailable to comment on this latest news before press time.

More as Weiner's "Package" Unravels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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