Written by Josh Gillam
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Wednesday, 1 June 2011

In a recent column in the LA Times, writer Meghan Daum explained to America that anytime President Obama stumbles over his words, it's because of an "intellectual stammer." Needless to say, doctors were amazed that they had missed this diagnosis and quickly had it added to medical books for validity.

The AMA presented Meghan with an award, and congratulated her on successfully managing to diagnose a person she's never met personally with a, previously thought, non-existent condition. More and more people are starting to come forward, stating that they too suffer from the "intellectual stammer". This statement from one of those that came forward is to Meghan;

"Thank you..uh..Meghan. Because of you..uh..we no longer have to..uh..be embarrassed about our..uh..condition."

There were many more statements, but most of them were too long to write down.

When asked how she was able to make the "intellectual stammer" diagnoses, without having any speech therapy experience, Meghan had this to say;

"Well it's because I'm so smart. I mean I'm so smart and people always say I'm smart, so it has to be true. I get emails all the time from kids, wanting me to do their homework for them. I mean if school kids want me to do their homework, I must be smart right? And because I write for a newspaper, I'm especially smart, because you have to be smart to work for a newspaper. Oh, I've written books too! Smart people write books."

After a few hours of her trying to get us to by her books, we were able to leave.

Meghan also says she's writing a new book about her discovery of the "intellectual stammer". The book will entail how she first came up with the term, and how she figured out that President Obama had it. The book is set to be about two sentences long and written in crayon. Meghan says after the release of this book, she will set her sights on trying to figure out why Nancy Pelosi's high intelligence keeps making her face melt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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