Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 27 May 2011

image for Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Announces She'll Enter The GOP Presidential Primaries As The Wind Bag Party Candidate
Arizona Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer who is 66, but admits that she looks 77.

PHOENIX - One of the most unpopular governors in the entire United States, next to Wisconsin's Scott "The Union Whacker" Walker has just throw her 'one-sided' hat into the Republican primaries.

Jan Brewer, has been nicknamed "The Man" because of her hard line stand on topics such as her wanting the NFL Arizona Cardinals to change their name to the more state-appropriate Sidewinders (snakes) and her idea of selling the Grand Canyon in order to raise some money to help pay off the exorbitant state debt.

Brewer who is 66, and has without a doubt never had any kind of cosmetic surgery done, says that she expects to go head-to-head, or more accurately hairdo-to-hairdo with the candidate of the Tea Bag Party, Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin.

The highly weathered-looking Brewer, who admits that she does look 77, was asked if she intends to push the issue that Palin was responsible for that totally unbelievable and irresponsible anti-Democratic ad with highlighted the Democratic candidate faces underneath the rifle crosshairs.

Brewski, as her grandmother Lillehammer "Lispy" Brewer calls her, grinned from wrinkled ear to wrinkled ear and replied, yes and not only yes, but HELL YES!

Jan also took a jab at the Alaskan wilderness woman who would much rather be off shooting caribou from a state-owned helicopter than cooking dinner for her husband and the rest of her neglected family.

Brewer added that she plans to engage Palin in a geographical debate to be moderated by none other than Katie "The Munchkin" Couric.

She said that both her and old "Tundra Thighs" Palin will be asked geographical questions such as are the Hawaiian Islands really several islands or is that just a Hawaiian Department of Tourism ploy to bring in more tourists?

Jan said that other possible questions could include, how many Korea's are there and can you name them both in the correct alphabetical order?

Brewski giggled when she realized that she knows right now that this geographical debate is going to stress out "Snowflake" so bad that she will wish that instead of debating she was out all by herself in the Alaskan wilderness with a rusty machete giving birth to octuplets.

When Brewer was asked by GOPicky Mgazine's Tabitha Tula Wishywater what her presidential primary slogan will be. Jan replied, "Sarah Lou Palin, woman you may be able to stalk, shoot, skin, and sauté big game, but when it comes to people Jan 'The Man' Brewer will stalk your camouflaged ass outta the Lower 48 and back up to frozen Alaska where you belong you snowball-eating beatch!"

To see non-photoshopped photos of Jan Brewer in a saguaro cactus design one-piece swimsuit go to www.janthemanbrewerwhoanellie.huh

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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