Written by jd Balderdash
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Sunday, 6 November 2005

image for President Bush Slaps Condoleeza Rice into next Thursday

(CNN) Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, reportedly in stable condition was, according to sources slapped by the president of the United States of America after reportedly telling the president to go "jump in the lake" which, according to sources, the president has yet to do. The root cause of the altercation seems to stem from Rice asking the president why, after all this time, no WMD's were yet found in Iraq.

Inside sources say that the president, a bit unhinged about his latest approval ratings replied,


leading to


White house nurses, hearing the plop immediately rushed in, rescued Secretary Rice and phoned emergency medical personnel.

"I didn't mean to kill her" the president told reporters.
I just .. it's just that the back of my hand, by itself went .. I mean ..she .. I .. "

MSNBC's Tim Russert asked the president why, if no WMD's exist, why would he pimp slap the Secretary of State of the United States of America for asking why WMD's don't exist when the president said they did. President Bush replied,

"Tim, I'm sorry for what happened but there ARE nuclear warheads over there in Iraq .. aimed at America. Our troops just haven't found the nuclear devices yet. I mistakenly took out my rage of not finding them on your Secretary of State. I apologize for that. Hear that Condi? We want you back. As soon as you get out of intensive care."

Condoleeza Rice, "resting well" according to sources at Washington General Hospital forgives the president for the slapping and looks forward to getting back to the hard work of tracking down Bin Laden. Rice, awake and responsive after the slapping told reporters,

"We had Bin Laden narrowed down to a 300,000 square mile sector radius based on recent GPS cell phone transmissions. Now all we have to do is search those 300,000 square miles and we've got him. We know without a doubt that he's somewhere on this planet. Now all we have to do is find him."

President Bush, aides say, is, with Condi gone,
fetching his own Bud Lite, discarding his own spam, formulating Mid-East strategy and, sources say, "doing his own nails."

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