Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Newt Gingrich

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Political pundits were having a field day this week after Newt Gingrich's roll-out of his 2012 presidential campaign.

"Stumbled getting out of the gate," said Chris Matthews on his Crossfire show.

"Not a pretty picture," commented David Gregory after his interview with Gingrich on Meet the Press.

Even Fox News was not kind after Gingrich criticized the GOP budget plans for 2012. Greta Van Susteren opened her show saying, "Eye of the Newt, the brain of a flea!"

Politicos are saying that Newt's start of his campaign was the worst in history as Gingrich's tried to walk back his comments but only seemed to make matters worse. Reporters on the scene say he must have known that things had gone very badly in his Gregory interview when he returned to his car. His driver was gone, had left the keys, and the remainder of his staff was nowhere to be seen. Reporters followed him home. What they found was, his house was locked and only his dog was there on the front porch. Music was blaring loudly from the windows, "Where are the Clowns, send in the Clowns, well, maybe next year" No one answered when he rang the doorbell.

What they found was his house locked and his dog growling on the front porch. Music blared from the windows, "Where are the Clowns, send in the Clowns, well, maybe next yearperiod" No one answered when he rang the doorbell.

A journalist at the scene said, "When Newt reached down to pet his dog, the animal lifted his leg , sprayed him down good, then walked to a neighbor's house."

Gingrich immediately issued the following statement: "I am putting an immediate end to my presidential bid. On reflection, I have determined that democracy is nothing more than social engineering and I will not be a part of this corrupt system. I am returning the $1.75 that has been donated to my campaign through a jar at the local Zip Mart and returning to doing what I know best, surfing internet dating sites."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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