Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the International Monetary Fund, arrived in NYC to open his campaign to bring French culture to the United States of America. The theme of the timely and forward looking campaign was: "Just Say Oui!" His plans have been interrupted by unforeseen circumstances.
Mr. Strauss-Kahn is widely known in international circles and is the favorite to become the next President of France. According to local media, New York Society was buzzing with anticipation.
Strauss-Kahn's itinerary was to include stops all across the US. He said the following on his arrival at JFK, "My message is mostly for the young and, of course, the young at heart. I have groped for years," he paused, "for how to bring my message to the world." He was scheduled to speak at local civic groups, middle schools, high schools, church functions, and a fund raiser for Newt Gingrich. The French are reportedly shocked, not surprised, and furious at the US. Strauss-Kahn's approval ratings in his country rose an astonishing twenty-five percent overnight.
As the circumstances have changed, those that wish to connect with Strauss-Kahn for lectures, hands-on demonstrations, private consultations, or be his friend on Facebook, please contact him through:
New York City Department of Corrections
In related news, the attorney for Strauss-Kahn has issued a statement saying, "I demand the immediate release of my client. He is guilty of nothing more than a moving violation!"
In other breaking news, the late edition of one of New York's major tabloids is running with a huge picture of Strauss-Kahn above the fold with the headline:
IMF: "I'm Monumentally Fucked!"