WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush has thanked vice presidential advisor Scooter Libby for taking the fall for the outing of a CIA agent by his administration, which was a key part of continuing the Republican lies to illegally and dishonestly invade Iraq to seize its oilfields for Exxon Mobil and other big US oil corporations.
In a press statement, the president indicated, "Today I gleefully accepted the resignation of Scooter Libby. Scooter has worked tirelessly against the interests of the American people and on behalf of US oil corporations and my administration."
"Scooter has now made the ultimate sacrifice of taking the fall to prevent bigger fish like Karl, Dick and me from going to the wall for outing a CIA agent in our ongoing war against the CIA."
"Scooter has thus served the Vice President and me like a real trooper through extraordinary times in our nation's history in which we continue to gut the CIA in order to turn it into a bunch of lapdog stooges who will support our corrupt wars of aggression against other innocent countries in order to steal their oil wealth and prevent them from abandoning the US dollar."
Bush continued, "Special Counsel Fitzgerald's investigation and ongoing legal proceedings are now defanged and laughable. Friz can't touch us now with a ten foot pole, even though we orchestrated the whole CIA thing. Yuk yuk yuk!"
"While we're all elated by today's news, we remain wholly focused on the many issues and opportunities facing the oil industry. I've got a job to do, of gutting this country's industry and its pension plans and its environment and of fostering more global warming-induced hurricanes and droughts in order to to enrich certain corporations and the Patrician class like myself and Dick, and of invading and stealing even more wealth from other harmless countries."
"That is what we do we who work in the White House. We got a job to protect the rich American people, and oil companies, and that's what we'll continue working hard to do. I look forward to working with Congress on policies to wreck this economy and plunder it in the service of the rich. And pretty soon I'll be naming another conservative bozo to stack the Supreme Court. Thank you all very much, you idiots."